NoelSH {A Blog By Noel Herron

Whoa, I’ve been really depressed lately. I think it’s just because school is getting a little overwhelming. I had to take a day off from English because I couldn’t bare to embarrass myself with one of the assignments that the teacher gave. The assignment involved the teacher giving us an option of five-or-six sentence fragments; then we had to pick one and turn it into a whole story. Now that’s a bit much to ask. I’m not a story teller, and neither were the four people I had to work with. We got no were, except for the one retard in the class that wouldn’t stop spouting mindless dribble. The worst part was that we had to present this to the rest of the class. I get palpitations, and anxiety really bad at time, and I didn’t know what would have happened if I went up to the front of the class and had to tell the peace of shit story that we had to make up.

So I didn’t go, but I made it the day after that. They said it was really embracing because their story didn’t make sense because I part was missing. I didn’t write anything anyway so it didn’t make much difference. I’m sorry that I had to leave them hanging, but I couldn’t bare it.

The worst part is that I missed a due date for a first draft that I had to turn in. So I’m losing point. On top of that there was a quiz which I didn’t expect, but I probably did no worse than a “C.” That was a crappy day. And now I have to finish a second draft with no time. It’s due TODAY (I’m writing this on Wednesday). All I have is an outline and a few sentences. The first draft which I did due (but can’t turn in) is worthless because she said that we could pick out topics, but then she assigns the topics, so I have to write it from scratch. The topic is on the media: representation, censorship, lifestyles. I’m picking representation, mainly on how television news has degraded over the years as it tries to represent us.

It’s very frustrating. I try to take a break and I’m in a more worse position than before. I can’t sleep when I’m like this. I dread lying in bed stressing myself out about what I have to do tomorrow. Also, because I know that when I do fall asleep I wont want to wake up, or get out of bed; so that waists my day. It’s a vicious cycle. And thus here I am, its 4:30 in the morning, class is a 5:30 at night, and I’ve barely begun that paper. I should go to bed, but I don’t want to, I’ll just lie there thinking, dwelling; and then when I should get up I’ll just lie there for a few more precious hours.

I’ll probably manage to punch something out. It’s only a second draft, so it doesn’t need to meet the pager quota (three pages). If I can manage to just turn something in then I’ll have plenty of time to do it right. We’ll see…